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Question by moonunderwater: Why does society try teaching you that there’s certain things you HAVE to do to be “normal”?
I.e. I just turned 21 five days ago, and I’m not big on drinking…I’ll probably have like the occasional glass of wine now that I can buy it, but I have absolutely zero desire to go out to clubs and get trashed or any of that.
So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I “HAD” to drink on my birthday because it’s “just what you have to do when you turn 21.” When I responded that I’d much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the “awwwww come on”s and “but you have to”s.

I also have I guess “unusual” views on dating…I don’t date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I’m wasting my time trying to convince myself I’m into a guy that I’m really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I’m not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.

And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she’s constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends…not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said “she’s not like us” in the most condescending voice ever.

Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don’t mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is “shallow”..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say “if you don’t drink this beverage, you’re a loser.”

Best answer:

Answer by nickipettis
Heck if I know. I have noticed things like this my whole life, and they never made sense,

When someone says, “i’m sorry, I can’t drink, I am an alcoholic” why do have the people in the room INSIST that it is OK for him/her to have just one drink? That’s insane. But i have seen it a lot.

I really have thought about this. and the best i have come up with is that these insisting people
1) do not value you, or your right to be yourself, different
2) they may be OFFENDED that you want to be yourself, not one of the crowd
3) they flatly don’t count you as a friend if you don’t drink with them, or follow their lead in whatever they are doing.

For some reason , they see different as either insulting or as a threat.

Part of it reminds me of classic mob behavior, part of it reminds me of lemmings.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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This week I talk about some exciting stuff happening over at my podcast (which is available on iTunes) as well as a quick review of “30 Day Shred w/ Jillian Michaels”. Check out my website, www.iweighedmorethanjared.com!
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Question by moonunderwater: Why does society try teaching you that there’s certain things you HAVE to do to be “normal”?
I.e. I just turned 21 five days ago, and I’m not big on drinking…I’ll probably have like the occasional glass of wine now that I can buy it, but I have absolutely zero desire to go out to clubs and get trashed or any of that.
So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I “HAD” to drink on my birthday because it’s “just what you have to do when you turn 21.” When I responded that I’d much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the “awwwww come on”s and “but you have to”s.

I also have I guess “unusual” views on dating…I don’t date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I’m wasting my time trying to convince myself I’m into a guy that I’m really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I’m not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.

And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she’s constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends…not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said “she’s not like us” in the most condescending voice ever.

Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don’t mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is “shallow”..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say “if you don’t drink this beverage, you’re a loser.”

Best answer:

Answer by Don F
It is viewed as a rite of passage in college-speak. Basically they are trying to encourage you to be more outgoing when that may be in fact outside of your nature. You have every right not to participate in this rite because it is designed for the cultural norm that doesn’t befit every individual. I understand exactly where you’re coming from as I didn’t feel it to be relevant to partake in that either until a bit later in my years when I was with a more comfortable set of friends(the real kind).

Don’t take it so hard, they’re just trying to get you to be outgoing and they cannot comprehend anyone being anything but. I’m sure you are smart enough to think of something clever to weasel your way out of an awkward situation of refusing a drink icon wink Q&A: Why does society try teaching you that theres certain things you HAVE to do to be normal? .

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Question by moonunderwater: Why does society try teaching you that there’s certain things you HAVE to do to be “normal”?
I.e. I just turned 21 five days ago, and I’m not big on drinking…I’ll probably have like the occasional glass of wine now that I can buy it, but I have absolutely zero desire to go out to clubs and get trashed or any of that.
So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I “HAD” to drink on my birthday because it’s “just what you have to do when you turn 21.” When I responded that I’d much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the “awwwww come on”s and “but you have to”s.

I also have I guess “unusual” views on dating…I don’t date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I’m wasting my time trying to convince myself I’m into a guy that I’m really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I’m not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.

And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she’s constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends…not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said “she’s not like us” in the most condescending voice ever.

Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don’t mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is “shallow”..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say “if you don’t drink this beverage, you’re a loser.”

Best answer:

Answer by Jose
Your only talking about one type of society, and that’s the type of society that likes to go out and get waasted. If you meet different people they will have different views on whats normal

In awnser to you saying shallow things define our worth id say no, theres alot more important things that do. However the fact that you dont do these things makes you seem closed minded, reserved and a bit “boring”.

You might not be but thats the stereotype that will come with it. If you think about it, it makes sense because your reluctant to try things. On the other hand, in another type of society, one that wants to settle down, you sound perfect! Your behaviour in that society would be normal and someone with a clubbers mentality would seem weird.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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Question by whatislove: Why does society try teaching you that there’s certain things you HAVE to do to be “normal”?
I.e. I just turned 21 five days ago, and I’m not big on drinking…I’ll probably have like the occasional glass of wine now that I can buy it, but I have absolutely zero desire to go out to clubs and get trashed or any of that.
So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I “HAD” to drink on my birthday because it’s “just what you have to do when you turn 21.” When I responded that I’d much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the “awwwww come on”s and “but you have to”s.

I also have I guess “unusual” views on dating…I don’t date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I’m wasting my time trying to convince myself I’m into a guy that I’m really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I’m not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.

And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she’s constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends…not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said “she’s not like us” in the most condescending voice ever.

Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don’t mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is “shallow”..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say “if you don’t drink this beverage, you’re a loser.”

Best answer:

Answer by miss chams
lol! i know what you mean, i’m also 21 and not big on drinking. unfortunately some people seem to think excessive drinking and sleeping around is some sort of rite of passage…

Add your own answer in the comments!

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Question by 20jr15: My parents and sister say bad things to me because I am gay. Should I go back to Australia?
**** THANKS FOR SPENDING A FEW MINUTES TO READ MY QUESTION. I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP AND APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE **********

I am 23, male. I have been studied science in an Australian university for 1 year. My parents want me to be a biological scientist but I am not interested in science at all. I didn’t do well and finaIly I droped out from the course icon sad My parents and sister say bad things to me because I am gay. Should I go back to Australia? . My university counsellor suggest me to go back to Hong Kong (my hometown) and discover my own interest before I go back to study in Australia. Back in Hong Kong, I am living with my parents and I share the rent with them. The rent is about US$ 900 per month. Dad, mum and I pay US$ 300 each. My 20-year-old younger sister lives with us as well.However, she doen’t pay anything.

Recently all my family members suspect I am gay. They ask , ” I’m sure that you drop out from your science course because you are homosexual. Ewww! Everyday they say unplesant things to me ( e.g. I hate you so much, I’ll never forgive you, You should turn back to heterosexual, I wanna beat you up because you are gay, All gay men are worse than sh*t, including you ) I face their bad words everyday in addition to having an academic failure, I went back to my room and closed the door and cried. Then sister say I am not allowed to close my room’s door. ” You need to have your room door opened all the time, including when you are crying. What’s the point of closing the d*mn door? Have you ever considered my feelings?You know what? I have been tolerated your gayness for a while!” My parents are always on her side. They say” Listen to *your sister, you f*ggot” My parents also say ” Why can’t you get along with us well? If you can’t get along with us well, it means you can’t get along with your schoolmates and colleagues as well. You are a big loser !” My sister, who is studying to be a counsellor, says ” Why are you so defensive about yourself? Why don’t you loosen up yourself and date women?
” I replied “I have tried to date a girl for 3 months. But finally I’ve found that it doesn’t work. I don’t want to cheat the girl and say “I am straight” anymore. I don’t want to hurt the girl. We broke up. ” I added ” I am proud of being gay”. My sister replied , ” You’re so defensive about your homosexuality therefore no counsellor on Earth can help you. ”

I also said , ” I dropped out from science course because I have no interest in it at all. Mum, My dream is to be an successful accountant, not a scientist .”

Question 1) Which one do you think is better? Get my accounting degree in Australia or stay in Hong Kong ? You are 23 year old laready. My mum said ” If you study full-time in Australia for 3 more years , it mean you will lose 3 years of work experience. When you graduate with an accounting degree at the age of 26, no one will hire you again because you are too old at that time. You will not able to find a good job because employers tend to employ younger people. However, I really wanna go to Australia , do my favourite course and stay away my parents. Will I be less competitive in the job market after 3 years ( graduation at the aged of 26) ?

Quetion 2) How do you think of my parents and sisters?

Question 3) I saved a bit money and I enrol in a DJing short course in a musical school. Because I really wanna try DJing. Well, DJing in Clubs/pubs. I wanna to be a part-time DJ. However, my mum say I’ve made a stupid mistake. She said , ” The club DJ working environment is too bad. You can find drugs, prostitute, pimp and manwh0re there. You don’t love yourself based on your decision to learn DJing. Someone in pub will put drugs into your pocket and you’ll be prosecuted. ” I learn it because I am interested” I said. “You lack of critical thinking since you enrol in that course. You can’t earn much money for DJing. Loser! I My mum says I am stupid and she is clever. How do you think ?

Question 4) My mum says I need to accompany her all the time when she needs to dine out. “If you treasure our mother-son relationship, then you must dine out with me. Otherwise, it means you think I am not important in your life. Even you have to work part-time, get a sick-leave and accompany me.I will turn you straight ” I refused and she said “F**k off, loser! ” I feel that I am a slave. Do I normal to feel this way?

Question 5) Am I suffering from depression now? Since my family gay-bashes me, I have never had good sleep at night. I have also lost my appetite. I always feel anxious when seeing my family members everyday. I even lose interest in collecting stamps( my hobbies) in my spare time.

Question 6) My family suggest me to do my accountant course in Hong Kong and live with them. “Even though you are able to financially support yourself in Australia, you should live with us and learn how to get along with us well.” I really wanna cried again! Can you give me suggestions?

Best answer:

Answer by HaK, the Pansexual Panda
question one, go back to assuie where u’re happy

2buttheads

3 ur mom is a bitch
4. same as above
5. same as above. lol
6. get away from them, now.

What do you think? Answer below!

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Article by Julie Brealy

Have you watched the biggest loser? Is it amazing to see their body transformation from obese to healthy and well toned physique? You witness how they train hard and are challenged to take their body’s limits in weight loss and fitness boot camps.

These rigorous physical activities s are indeed effective in shedding unwanted pounds and building fitness fast. So if you consider this option to get fit, here are at least the five things you can expect in any fitness or weight loss camps.

Varied Activities. The exercise activities are varied because a fitness boot camp aims to break the boring and monotonous routines in the typical gym.

Spirit of Teamwork. It is more motivating to workout with people who shared the same goals as yours. Also, your group and instructor can be source of inspiration and support to help you continue with your fitness program. It will be a teamwork motivation and effort for a common goal.

After-Program Support. It is easy to workout if you are surrounded with motivated individuals however the greater challenge awaits after you finish the boot camp program. It is important that your boot camp has support group or person you can contact after the program is over.

In this way, you can rely for support and find a source for motivation in situations where you are discouraged to continue keeping a healthy lifestyle.

Educational. As part of your training, it is expected that your trainers will impart you with tips and information about health, weight, fitness and nutrition. These are valuable information that you can use particularly once the fitness or weight loss program is over.

Qualified Personnel. It is not only about the trainer’s qualification. There should be qualified nutritionist and dietitians too. A long term weight loss is sustained through proper balance in nutrition and exercise.

These are at least the five things you can expect from a weight loss or fitness boot camp. You pay to get fit so make sure that it happens and you get back your money’s worth.

About the Author

Julie Brealy is the health manager at FitFarms, UK’s No. 1 Weight Loss Boot Camp and Fitness Holiday. She has been working for over 10 years in the weight loss industry advising companies in the US and the UK. Julie is also an experienced deep tissue massage therapist.

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We’ve all seen them. Facebook statuses informing the world that “I got so wasted last night”, or “My principle is the biggest loser on the planet”, or, my favourite, “I am on the toilet”. So many people tend to go too far in sharing their lives online and don’t remember the very real consequences that can occur. Here is a list of seven things you should never put on Facebook.

Contact details

Put up your hands everyone who stands in the middle of a shopping centre and shouts out their name, home address and telephone number. No one? Well why then do people persist in putting these details on the internet for the entire world to see? And then they wonder how some crazy stalker is able to track them down…

Photos of their (or other people’s) children

Okay, maybe I’m sounding slightly paranoid here, but with the amount of child molesters in the world, and especially on the internet, you can’t be too careful. So you put a picture of your child on your Facebook profile for relatives in England to see how big they’ve grown, it is not always just family and friends who want to look at those pictures. Rather try using e-mail to send the pics to only certain people, or even the good old fashioned snail mail.

Photos of you that you wouldn’t want to show your dad

It’s great to be able to have a fantastic party, and understandable that you want to memorialise it, but remember that anything you place on the internet is there forever. Today you may laugh at the photos of you passed out after a hard night’s partying, but twenty years down the line when you are the pastor of a church or a school principle, you may not want those pics to be made public.

Also, even though you don’t see anything wrong with the pictures you or a friend posts, doesn’t mean a prospective employer won’t. Employers have been know to check the Facebook pages of candidates for a job, and may decide not to hire you purely because of the way you portray yourself online.

Conversations

Some conversations are private. You may be talking about things you or the person you are talking to don’t want to be made public. Mistakenly letting the conversation go public could lead to the airing of some personal secrets that can ruin relationships (e.g. “I heard you’re pregnant! Congratulations!”).

You could be having a random conversation about something only the two of you could possibly care about. You may even be peppering the conversation with private “in-jokes” that no one else even understands. Here’s a hint: nobody want’s to see this filling up their newsfeed, we don’t care if Superman could beat Mr. Fantastic, or what your all-time favourite sandwich was.

Social plans

Many people announce that they plan on going to “so-and so’s birthday party”, or that they are throwing their own party. Unless you are very choosy and only have a handful of Facebook friends, it is unlikely that everyone who can see the posts about your plans will be going to the party. It also may not just be your Facebook friends who see this, other people going to the party may post it on their wall, there for even more to see. While many people wont care about not being invited, others can feel hurt and left out.

Relationship status

There is a story of a couple who seconds after the priest had pronounced them married, whipped out their phones and updated their relationship status on Facebook to “married”. In this case the couple had already planned the update, and had let their family and friends know what they were doing. Sometimes however, these updates can come as a big shock to the people who really should be told in person.

First of all, it is really cowardly to break up with someone by simply changing your Facebook status to “single” without saying anything to your partner first. Other things like changing your status to “engaged” without first telling your parents and close family may lead to a few fights and hurt feelings. I’m not saying you shouldn’t post your relationship status, just that

 

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