Question by moonunderwater: Why does society try teaching you that there’s certain things you HAVE to do to be “normal”?
I.e. I just turned 21 five days ago, and I’m not big on drinking…I’ll probably have like the occasional glass of wine now that I can buy it, but I have absolutely zero desire to go out to clubs and get trashed or any of that.
So in the weeks before my birthday, several of my friends told me that I “HAD” to drink on my birthday because it’s “just what you have to do when you turn 21.” When I responded that I’d much rather have a nice dinner at a Japanese steakhouse or something instead, I got the “awwwww come on”s and “but you have to”s.
I also have I guess “unusual” views on dating…I don’t date guys unless I feel an extremely strong connection with them because otherwise I just feel like I’m wasting my time trying to convince myself I’m into a guy that I’m really not that crazy about, and I also avoid relationships I know are going to eventually fail because, frankly, I’m not a fan of heartbreak or spending months with someone just to have him exit your life one day.
And my sister is the complete opposite; she dates every single guy who so much as looks at her because she has to have a boyfriend all of the time. So she’s constantly making fun of me for it and trying to make me look bad in front of her friends…not just with the dating thing, but like her friend asked me to buy them alcohol, and she said “she’s not like us” in the most condescending voice ever.
Why are such shallow things supposed to define our worth in society? I don’t mean shallow in the sense that everyone who drinks to get drunk is “shallow”..I mean shallow in the sense that it sounds rather silly to me to say “if you don’t drink this beverage, you’re a loser.”
Answer by nickipettis
Heck if I know. I have noticed things like this my whole life, and they never made sense,
When someone says, “i’m sorry, I can’t drink, I am an alcoholic” why do have the people in the room INSIST that it is OK for him/her to have just one drink? That’s insane. But i have seen it a lot.
I really have thought about this. and the best i have come up with is that these insisting people
1) do not value you, or your right to be yourself, different
2) they may be OFFENDED that you want to be yourself, not one of the crowd
3) they flatly don’t count you as a friend if you don’t drink with them, or follow their lead in whatever they are doing.
For some reason , they see different as either insulting or as a threat.
Part of it reminds me of classic mob behavior, part of it reminds me of lemmings.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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